


i'm sick of meaning; i just wanna hold you

by KittyKathryn



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Dorm Party, Fluff, M/M, andrew loves neil, but andrew doesn't like college parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:37:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKathryn/pseuds/KittyKathryn
Summary: Neil drags Andrew to a party thrown by the upperclassmen. Andrew doesn't like to feel ignored, and he's not great at controlling what comes out of his mouth.





	i'm sick of meaning; i just wanna hold you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic for this fandom, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. :)  
> This fic and its title is inspired by the song "Bodys" by Car Seat Headrest. I kept getting an Andreil vibe from the song and couldn't stop picturing it, so I put it into words! I encourage you to check out the song and I hope you enjoy the fic :)

Andrew didn’t like parties. At least, he didn’t like parties in dorm rooms that reeked of pot and were full of depressed college students. He enjoyed his nights in Eden’s Twilight, where he was surrounded by strangers who didn’t want to pay any more attention to him than he did to them. However, the perks of a dorm party was that there was free booze and he could go to his room whenever he wanted.

Really, he was only at a party for Neil, who wasn’t even paying attention to him. Neil typically wasn’t one for parties either (there were too many people and not enough exits), but Dan was throwing it, and Neil had an unhealthy desire to please the upperclassmen. So why did Andrew even come? Well, he had an unhealthy desire to please Neil instead. 

And Neil was surely grateful, with how he hadn’t spoken to Andrew for over ten minutes. Instead, the red-headed fool was chumming it up with Boyd. Andrew didn’t like how much of Neil’s attention Boyd got on a daily basis. 

Renee sidled up to him, a soda in her hand. “You don’t look happy with Neil leaving you alone,” she said. 

“Neil can do what he wants,” Andrew grumbled. 

“Sure, but so can you. And right now it seems like you want to be near him.” Renee’s smile was that of a saint, and it drove Andrew up the wall.

“Oh, really? What wonderful insight, Renee. What would I do without you?”

She laughed. “Stop being difficult and go,” she said with a push in Neil’s direction. 

Andrew walked through the room, winding through the grinding masses. He spied Nicky desperately flirting with a kid from the drama club. Aaron and Katelyn were in the corner inching closer to each other by the second. Ugh, straights. 

Andrew reached Neil and laid a hand on his lower back as he slid beside him. Neil didn’t acknowledge him, but his lips subtly quirked up at the corners. Matt and Neil were in the middle of a conversation about the latest exy game. Junky. 

Andrew couldn’t help but stare at him, studying the scars on his face and the hickey that was peeking up from the collar of his shirt. Neil was far from the boy Andrew had first met, a brown-eyed kid gasping on the floor after being introduced to Andrew’s raquette. Andrew couldn’t believe he was able to be so near to Neil. The feeling he got when Neil said yes to him was close to what he imagined it felt like to be connected to God. Andrew wasn’t a godly man, but Neil whispering “yes” against his skin was his own personal religious experience. 

Neil was relaxing into Andrew’s steady touch, leaning into his body as much as he could without drawing attention to it. Eventually, Dan called Matt away, and it was just the two of them. 

“Staring,” Neil whispered. 

“So?” Andrew said. “You got a problem with it?”

Neil smiled far too softly for Andrew’s preference. “Not really.”

“Stop smiling,” Andrew grumbled.

“Why? Do you have a problem with it?”

“Yes, it’s nauseating,” Andrew lied. While Neil’s smile made his stomach feel odd, it wasn’t quite nausea. 

Music thrummed through the room, and someone accidentally pushed Andrew, causing him to shove up against Neil. The close proximity made Andrew’s heart rate skyrocket, and Neil’s bright blue eyes were wide. 

Andrew’s gaze dropped to his lips. “Yes or no,” he whispered.

“Yes?” Neil said, hesitating as he looked around at the crowd surrounding them on all sides. When Andrew only stared at him, Neil said again, stronger this time, “Yes.” 

Every time Andrew kissed Neil, he felt like a man revived from death. He’d spent his entire life drowning until Neil had pulled him out of the water. Neil was a runaway, and Andrew was still afraid he’d wake up one day to find the junky gone. But when Neil was in his arms, he forgot his fears. He forgot the sorrows of life; all he knew was the soft touch of Neil’s lips against his. 

Neil pulled apart and slowly placed his hands on Andrew’s chest. “I’m gonna get a drink,” he said. “Stay here.”

Andrew was alone. Often he panicked when Neil wasn’t in sight, but he felt a peace in his heart. Neil came back, sure enough, with a bottle of beer in each hand. He gave one to Andrew, and the alcohol going down his throat cooled him off from the heat of the dorm. 

Neil was slowly moving side to side with the beat of the music. Andrew raised an eyebrow at that. “You’re dancing,” he noted. 

Neil flushed a light pink. “Yeah. This is a party.”  
“We never dance at these shitty things.” Andrew was still trying to process the way Neil’s body moved to the music. 

“Well,” Neil slowly said. “Maybe we could?”

Andrew scoffed. “Are you asking me to dance like a frightened middle schooler?”

Neil rolled his eyes. “Nevermind. It’s stupid. You’re right.”

His eyes dropped to the beer in his hand, but Andrew put his free hand on Neil’s waste before he could move away. “It’s not stupid,” he grumbled. 

Neil’s eyes were wide again, like a virginal doll. It drove Andrew mad. 

They were unpracticed, but their bodies found a way to move together. Neil’s hips swayed, and Andrew tried and failed to ignore how that made him feel. The closeness of their bodies and the flowing alcohol loosened Andrew’s tongue and making him think of nonsense. That was the only reasonable explanation he could think of for what he said next.

“Sometimes I’m scared you’ll fall apart in my hands.”

That couldn’t have been him. He didn’t say that aloud, right?

By the way Neil’s eyes were wider than those of an anime girl, Andrew assumed he did indeed say it aloud. 

Before any more words could escape his traitorous mouth, Andrew fled. He did what Neil always did: he ran. Yes, he only went to the roof, but he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that he was a coward. 

Andrew pretended not to notice the door to the roof squeaking open behind him. He was lying on the ground, staring at the stars and wishing he could fling himself into one. That would be a quick way to go, right? 

“Andrew,” came an incessant voice to his right. 

“Go away, pipe dream.”

Neil held a hand above his chest, waiting for any rejection. When Andrew only nodded, he let his hand rest lightly on his rising and falling chest. “I’m not going anywhere, Andrew. I’ll be wherever you are. I won’t fall apart.”

Andrew turned to look at him. Neil’s eyes could bring men to their knees, and if Andrew wasn’t already on the ground, he would be no exception. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t good with words. So instead, Andrew leaned forward and brushed his lips against Neil’s. He kissed softer than his words would ever be. With their bodies moving closer, they were lost.


End file.
